Posts

What you are doing vs what is hapenning?

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A couple of blogs ago i talked about the gap between your ideal self and your actual self.(catching yourself in the act) This time it is about your actual self vs your perception of self. Recently I was catching up to one of my buddies and he asked me what have I been up to?? That put me on surprisingly weird train of thought. I told him about my job, and how I'm learning guitar and video editing and some graphics coding etc.... and we talked about various outer dumb stuff after that. But once we concluded our conversation and hung up the phones, I asked myself - what AM I upto? And it is true that in trying to learn guitar but I haven't touched it in past 2 weeks, it is true that I'm learning video editing, but haven't made a single edited video in weeks. I'm also interested and learning graphics coding but really what I did was watch a couple of Sebastian league and coding train videos. This is what I want to tell, I think I'm doing this that and...

You should probably go dance

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 I have been a shy and introvert kid from my childhood(classic). I was too shy to dance and sing in front of anyone let alone strangers. So during some festivals, my elder cousin used to arrange a dance competition and there would be vibes before the competition. I was well prepared for my dance performance (It was mandatory) but during whole festive season all cousins are together and computer was a this new magical thing back then, so most of the time there were songs being played and all the kids are being made to dance. I had it, I was so fed up, nervous and scared. will they call me next? did she see me? will she call me? ayee what is this man, join us come dance, what is wrong with you? you wont get food if you don't dance, etc..... It was such a great moment now that i think about it, everyone was happy in the same house dancing, singing having fun. But my experience.... ufff. absolute horror, how can I avoid this and move on? when will the electricity be cut off?.... So I g...

I need to stop worrying about the bookmark

 Recently I was traveling by train and saw an elderly gentleman reading a book on the seat diagonal to me, as I was seeing him flip through the pages and read with all the attention a sense of guilt started to creep inside me. I was not reading as much as I used to or as fast as I used to. I'm getting distracted a lot these days, What happened? what changed? Why am I not able to read as much? And then it hit me "IT'S BECAUSE I LOST MY BOOKMARK!!!" and suddenly I knew how stupid that excuse was and the real reason now as I;m writing this I can clearly see are, I don't have proper systems set up and all these days as I was reading fiction books the story used to keep me invested and made sure that I completed the book. I was in the last part of my college and had a lot of free time in my hand. Now things have changed, I'm working now, I have started reading non-fiction(thanks to 75 hard) and also I'm getting distracted by other things like, the peer pressure...